My Life The Sitcom

I've read in numerous magazines that the grocery store is one of the best places to meet men. Really? Maybe for the average single girl, but not for me. You see it was after meeting a man in the grocery store that I knew a power greater than me, was purposefully providing me these male encounters for the pure purpose of other's enjoyment.

It seemed innocent, I was actually in the alcohol section-I had some college friends coming into town for the weekend-and single girl's gotta drink! Anyways, I first noticed "Tom" in the fruit and veggie aisle. Hmmm...kinda cute, definately also noticed me. As I pushed my way into the 21 and over section, I was pretty sure he would follow me. And just as I predicted, he came rolling in. I actually don't even remember what pick-up line he used, but I'm a tough one when it comes to handing out my number. I opted for email.

Later that evening when I sat down to actually check my email, there it was, with a witty title "Aisle 11." Cute and witty, I knew I needed to give the guy a chance.

A few days later I invited him over for dinner and conversation and although it went well, I did have my reservations. There was something that just wasn't sitting well with me, but since I couldn't pinpoint it, I opted to "watch a movie" we had talked about over dinner a few days later.

I don't want to mislead any of you...there was some plaful flirting on our first "date." I expected the same on our 2nd...or whatever it was. I wasn't expecting what happened next. We were both sitting on the couch not really touching, cuddling, hand holding...nothing. But as I glanced over "IT" was "OUT." I was horrified. My romance life had now become an episode of Seinfeld (a must see episode if you haven't seen it). I was shocked...as I mentioned, something wasn't sitting right, but I didn't expect that something to be "IT." IT WAS OUT!

So what's a girl to do when "IT" appears out of nowhere and when you're not expecting "IT?" Is there a polite way to get out of that situation? In the most normal voice I could muster up, I asked what "IT" was doing...why was "IT" there? Possibly worse than the appearance of "IT" was his reaction to my reaction:

Him: What, you don't want want "IT."
Me: Umm...that's not exactly what I was thinking was going to happen. Maybe we're thinking two different things-I think I might leave.
Him: That's good, I need to leave too, I forgot to return...blah, blah, blah. I was out the door.

The moral of the story: don't always believe the where-to-meet-a-man articles. "IT" might be more than you bargained for.